This is going to be short.. I am already late for work!

Check out article on website..

http://thewip.net/contributors/2008/11/rape_survivors_heal_with_assis.html

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

15 years later

1993 Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
June 1993 Last Day of School!

It has been a few weeks since I posted anything. I have been swamped. Work at the high school is consuming me. I am writing long social development studies on students. I have to get 4 more done by Dec. 17th. It is difficult because that gives me 10 days in the school to meet with the students test them with the BASC, getting the BASC rating scale out to teachers, and schedule meetings with the parents..then the fun part writing up the report and watching all those numbers from the BASC give back important information. It is just hard doing all these reports on top of grad school. I am working on papers, power point, exams coming up. It is exhausting and I feel there is not enough time in the day to get things done. However after Dec. 17th things will become a lot better. My supervisor has already told me I only have two social development studies in the next semester. PHEW! I just wish the ones I had now were spread out they are all overlapping.
I am also busy working on my author publicity packet. Filling out media questions, bio, few sentences on each chapter, paragraph or two on what the book is about as a whole, list of people I am connected with for reviews, I put together newspaper articles, video pieces on GMA and Montel, and magazine article. I am going to finish this weekend by burning DVD of speeches I have given which I have been trying to get around to. My publishing company would like to see that.
Then there is that lovely place that I am stuck at..I am going through listing out the title of each chapter but I am stumped on the title of the “BOOK” the most important piece I feel along with the cover. It is what reaches your readers. I have a compelling idea for the cover that my editor is aware of that I feel will grab at people walking by in a bookstore however it is finding the perfect title to represent that image and the book. A title that will jump off the shelves to make people want to open up and read the book. I am not just trying to reach survivors of child sexual abuse in this book, I am trying to reach the world to wake up and realize just how huge this epidemic is and we need to end the stimga, taboo, and silence and get people talking. It begins with breaking your silence. I have a few idea popping up all the time and I try to jot them all down…I just need to nail it down and decide what it will be. I am hoping for that light bulb moment where it will come to me. I know it will happen.

I had an awesome experience this weekend. A childhood friend I have not seen since I was 8 years old got in touch with me through facebook. If your on facebook and were not friends look me up “Erin Merryn.” Anyways my best friend from my childhood Shannon moved very close to the same time I moved. She moved to Arizona and I talk about her on pg. 5 of my first book and how she moved away and I have not heard from her since. How strange it is that I talk about her in my 2nd book. She played a significant role in my childhood that she was unaware of but she help me avoid an evil man by becoming my best friend. I had looked for her before on facebook but never had any luck that is until last week when I noticed a woman pop up in search engine with her same name and living in Arizona.
To make a long story short it was her, we began talking over internet it just so happens she was driving back from Virgina to Arizona and made a detour to Illinois to come visit me this weekend. Imagine seeing your best friend from 15 years ago when you were 8. I have so many fun memories with Shannon and we sat on Sunday at Starbucks reliving many of those moments sharing much laughter, I then went and met her boyfriend whose parents live 2 minutes from my parent’s house..small world. I brought photos from when we were young and she loved looking at them. She remembers fondly coming to my lake house in Lake Geneva and already have talks about doing it this summer when she comes to visit.

So I have added some photos of when we were young and us reuniting 15 years later. Here goes to show that while we cannot erase the mental photo album in our heads of memories that often only you can see yourself you can look back on real photos you can stare at in your hands smiling at some of the more precious happy moments. That is exactly what I see looking back on these. As I have said before my childhood was no fairy tail but there are many things I was blessed with back then and this friendship was one of them.

I arrived at my University in Aurora this morning around 8:30 a.m. As I was walking down the sidewalk by the street I noticed a very young child walking all by herself. She looked confused and kept looking around. She had just come from crossing the street and was now on the sidewalk in front of me. Suddenly I hear a man yelling from a house across the street. He was shout Ms. Ms. I finally turned around to see a man in his 50’s standing by his front door trying to get my attention. He shouted “I think that child is lost.” I told him I would find out. The little girl was walking at a fast pace and kept looking back. She looked scared. She finally walked towards the edge of the curb about to cross out onto the street as cars were flying by. I did not want to scare the child but quickly reached her and turned to her before she stepped out onto the street and said “Where are your parents.” The little girl looked at me and said “I just wanted to go for a walk.” You could see the fear and confusion in her eyes. I then asked her if her mom knew she was on a walk and she told me “no”. She told me she was 6 years old. I asked her if she knew where she lived and she said I think down there point down a street. I said are you sure. She said I think one of those vans are mine.

The entire street on both side was filled with cars. Since the University is right there many students park on the side streets. I began to think in my head how to handle this. I could bring her inside the building I was about to go in, I could call the police and stay right there, or I could see if she could lead me to her house. I asked her if she knew her phone number. She did not. I said can you direct me to where you think your house is. So I took her hand and crossed the street with her. We walked down a sidewalk and then crossed another street. She finally pointed to a house and said it was hers. I noticed no cars in the front driveway. I walked up to the front door and began knocking. No answers no doorbell. Suddenly a cat appeared at the window and the little girl who told me his name. I knew we had the right house and asked if the door would be unlocked. Sure enough it was and she went inside. I shouted to see if anyone was home and got no answer. The girl “Alexis” went to go check upstairs to see if her mom was there. She came down to say no one was there. She came back outside and said her mom went to drop off her sister at school. Well now I had a totally different dynamic. She telling me her mom left her mom which is child neglect. I realized I needed to call the police. I decided to walk her back towards my University and find somewhere to sit down with her. As we were walking down the sidewalk I noticed a minivan drive by on the street we were approaching where I first noticed “Alexis” The van pulled up towards the curb and I saw a boy about the age of three coming towards us and then a woman who appeared to be in her 30’s. I knew immediately it was her mom. As her mom approached you could tell she ran out of her house in a rush she was still her in bath rob. I said “Let me guess you have been looking for her.” This poor mother was in a state of panic. Where was she? Where did you find her? I have been driving all over this neighborhood and town looking for her. I told her where I noticed her walking alone looking very confused and how the man shouted out to me to find out where the child lives. The mother looked at me concerned and said Man what do you mean. I said oh no he was a man who saw your daughter walking in front of his house and cross the street and noticed she was alone and he became concerned and asked that I make sure she was okay. I explained to the mom that we went to her home. She thanked me over and over for watching out for her daughter. Alexis stayed quiet the whole time I think she knew she scared her mom. I looked at Alexis and said “now no going on walks without mom.” The mother thanked me again as I made my way across the street and towards the building I was headed to.

Something very interesting was how this man living across from my University did not approach Alexis but instead called out to me. I think he knows the label of a grown man approaching a child he does not know may make people think. So this man instead reached out to me to approach the child. As I later told my parents I am just glad I saw her when I did you could tell she was confused, afraid, and did not know where she was going. Anyone could have snatched this little girl who was so vulnerable and stuck out in her pink shirt.

A few hours later today during a break my professor in one of my classes called me up to his desk. I went up not knowing what he wanted and he said I ordered your book a week ago and I read it Monday. I asked him what he thought and he told me all he kept thinking about was his role as a school social worker for so many years and what he could have missed in the students he saw that could have been abused. He told me reading my book reminded him of a student he thinks back on that was probably being sexually abused yet child never disclosed. He then told me how sad it is to see how my relatives have supported my cousin and turned their backs on my family. I told him that it happens in so many families. Then my professor said. “There was one part of your book I was disappointed about. The part where you talk about learning how to drive for the first time and getting your license.” I kinda gave him a strange look like what is so disappointing about that. He then said, “After you got your license why did you not go run over your cousin with your car?” He smiled and I have to say he got me laughing.

In all it was a very interesting day and I am just glad I found that child’s mother and did not have to call police.

And for these sick individuals that are posting on my blog I have come to realize the only real good thing to do is ignore them. They are trying to get a reaction and the truth is they are just sick perps that have nothing better to do but then try protecting evil and make excuses for sex offenders. I wont waste my time on idiots!