Erin Merryn on Oprah Wed. Oct 6
I believe if two men had the ability to see the future of what the woman I would become they would of thought twice about locking me behind closed doors for their own sexual pleasure. A secret they thought would stay behind closed doors under their threats would one day be exposed in two books “Stolen Innocence & Living For Today” and Wednesday those secrets are exposed in front of the biggest audience I will ever have The Oprah Winfrey Show during her farewell season. Lucky for them I hold no hatred in my heart for either of them. For I learned in life anger, bitterness, and hatred gets you nowhere. Instead I fuel all my energy towards protecting the innocence of children from what I could not be protected from and ending the silence around sexual abuse by being a voice for the voiceless. One of those men took away my ability to cry about the abuse I endured because of the shame I carried. It took seeing Oprah Winfrey in her 20th DVD edition crying on national television in an interview with Truddi Chase to wake me up and realize crying was healthy. I thought if Oprah could cry about her abuse on national television then what do I have to hide.
I speak on a mission I have been going after for eleven years. I was 14 years old when I first wrote Oprah on the topic of sexual abuse and how it had impacted my life. I was in 8th grade and discussed how the abuse in my life had caused me so much shame and put in me in such a depression. I was called by producers and asked to come be in the audience on a show on teen depression. So my mother called me out of school that March day in 2000 and the two of us drove to Chicago where we had front row seats.
Since then I have written into the show hundreds of times on the same topic “Sexual Abuse”. Since I went public with my story 6 years ago with my first book I have been contacted by producers several times. One time it was a show on siblings who had been sexually abused. The problem was my younger sister was still in high school and did not want to appear on national television. So we ended up not doing the show. The next time it was on confronting your abuser. The producers were interested in the letters I exchanged with the relative that abused me. However two other sisters who had caputured their confrontation on camera ended up appearing on the show instead but I was apart of the audience during that show. I didn’t give up on my mission to put a face and voice on sexual abuse with Oprah because I knew I had a powerful message to tell and I just knew it my heart the impact it would have on Oprah. Because she had an impact on me as an 11 year old watching her show on sexual abuse and realizing I wasn’t alone in the silence I was carrying when I saw her interview other survivors.
I was contacted again about a show on forgiveness and how I forgave the relative that abused me. Then producers asked if this relative would appear on national television talking about forgiveness. I said “Heck no, I can answer that for him.” Well of course that was what they were looking for and my mission is not to expose his identity but expose the silent epidemic of sexual abuse. So I was no longer considered for that show and they eventually did find some abusers who appeared on a show about forgiveness.
I never did give up but I also did not write in constantly. I did not want to annoy Harpo staff. I only wrote in when I felt it was appropriate and there was a show they were looking at doing on sexual abuse. In October 2008 I was picked to be in a slide show of pictures on Oprah show about “Superwomen” My picture was disaplayed of me speaking at a podium and underneath it said Erin Merryn Sexual Abuse Advocate.
In my heart I knew the day would come and I live with the belief that you can accomplish anything you go after as long as you don’t give up. There are probably 800 emails under my name in a file at Harpo about me writing in on the subject of sexual abuse over the past 10 years. I put a lot if time and effort into getting a very important message heard and in the back of my mind I knew God would make it happen when the time was right. I put my trust in Him he would make it happen. With faith anything is possible. I think producers finally saw one determined woman who was not giving up.
On August 2nd while sitting in Caribou writing my 3rd book. I decided to take a break and look at Oprah’s website on current shows they were working on for her upcoming season. I had not written in for a long time and actually was looking to others to write in for me on the importance of the message I was trying to get across with my law “Erin’s Law“. I saw a category on the website for be on the show called “Were you a victim of child sexual abuse” They asked questions on the link about how sexual abuse changed you.
I briefly wrote in talking about how the abuse changed me and Erin’s law. The next day while back at Caribou I saw my phone go off. When I saw the 312 number and ending in 1000 I knew it was Harpo studios. That is what happens when you have received many calls from them. I answered it and it was a producer from Harpo. She asked me to take her through my story and for the next hour we spoke. She told me how well spoken I was and she was checking out my website. I was informed they didn’t have a direction the show was going but would be in touch. I hung up and didn’t get my hopes up. In fact I didn’t tell anyone a producer called me not even my family. The next day I got an email from the producer and every few days I would get another phone call or email from the producer. I still had not told anyone because I know how quickly the direction a show can change. A week and a half later I got a call from the producer asking me if I was aval. Sept. 2nd. I was warned Erin I know this sounds promising but we still don’t know the direction of the show. I told her I would make any day avaliable to get the interview of a lifetime to inspire Oprah and her worldwide audience. Now that they were asking me about a date I had to tell my family. After hanging up I informed my parents, sisters, and my publishing company.
I was told a few more times on the phone Erin I know this sounds very promising but we still don’t know what direction we are taking this show. I was still doing the best to keep my hopes down.
Finally at the end of August producer asked me if I was avaliable for an interview at home and then the following week I would do an interview at the studio with Oprah. Now I was on a high. Finally I was seeing my biggest dream of putting a face and voice come true. A camera crew came out to the house on August 25th and they were there from 10am-4pm. It takes awhile to set up camera equipment and I did a lot of talking to the camera. The producer was so comfortable with me talking and the camera crew even said I was so comfortable just talking into the camera where many people get nervous or often have to be directed on what to say. There is nothing like looking into a camera and saying “Hi Oprah this is Erin Merryn” knowing she was going to be hearing my message.
The next week a car picked up my sister and I on Wed. Sept 2nd at 6:30am. There were so many emotions running through me that drive down to the windy city. Once I arrived my sister and I were checked in my security and then taken upstairs to the green room. I must say the green room was cool. I never get nervous but that morning I was and I was too nervous to enjoy all the treats Oprah had in her green room but my sister made herself right at home with the food. 
Of course she was just enjoying the moment she wasn’t the one about to do an interview with Oprah.
It was so surreal I was about to be talking to Oprah. I had been dreaming of this moment for so long and what kept going through my mind was I can’t screw this up. I was eventually greeted by a man from legal team and had to sign legal documents, hooked up to a mic, and then a make-up artist came to do my make-up. Eventually my sister and I were taken downstairs passing many big photos of Oprah over the years with many guests she has interviewed. I was brought into another green room where the producer I had been working with was talking to another guest that was to appear on the show going over what Oprah would be discussing with her. Eventually they were telling us the show was about to begin and the producer still had not spoken with me about what to expect Oprah to ask me. She looked at me behind stage and said “I am not worried about you at all, you have this.” I was told just moments before taking my seat in the front row of the audience that I could talk about “Erin’s law” but to keep it brief and to the point because that will prevent it from being edited out if I talked too long about it.
Next thing I know I am walking into a filled studio and taking my reserved front seat. The details of my interview can be seen Wednesday as I don’t know what they kept or edited out. I can say this I spoke with Oprah from my front row seat. I made Oprah cry and when she went to commercial break she turned to the audience “Now that Erin has me crying and all of you crying I need my make-up team out here.” Her make-up team came to her rescue. I really did not expect the reaction I got from Oprah. I knew I would inspire her but not to the point of tears and she kept looking at me during commerical breaks smiling at me. When the show was all over and the camera stopped rolling Oprah stood up on stage and told her audience “Erin is an inspiration to me in the work I have done on this for the past 25 years.” I eventually joined Oprah on stage after the show where she was giving me a big hug and we took a picture. Which I will eventually get sent in the mail to me. Not sure yet if I can post the photo online. If I can I will post it. Oprah stayed and talked to the audience for awhile after the show was done taping and got everyone laughing. I could tell when I was on stage with Oprah I could sense something in her that I moved her in a way I was not expecting. I feel I inspired her so much that I don’t think that is the last I will hear from Oprah.
Oprah supports the mission I am on and you will see that all unfold Wednesday. I am one of the last guests on the show to talk with Oprah. I didn’t talk long with her but I valued every second I got and felt I hit every point I wanted to make. You will not hear me talking about either of my books on the show, but you will hear me talking about the most important thing in the world to me right now. “ERIN’S LAW” I kept it brief and to the point just like the producer told me to. Just saying those words “Erin’s law” on her show makes me happy because it is going to move people into action and wake people up to realize we need to not just teach kids tornado drills, bus drills, fire drills, but also educate kids on sexual abuse in schools. Currently I have 3,300 fans of Erin’s law on facebook. Watch that number change come Wednesday.
My innocence could not be saved as a child, but I will do everything in my power to protect the innocence of the children in this world. My favorite saying is “My life is not define by evil but how I have risen above evil.” I will only continue to rise and none of this would be possible without my relationship with God. For with Him anything is possible. I am living proof!
Now lets continue to end this silent epidemic. You will be a witness to more people coming out of darkness and finding their voice after Wednesday show.
Watch a preview of Wednesday show here.
Driving home from Harpo Studios Sept. 2nd
Check out Time.com article on me from last week
You go girl! So proud of all you do and stand for. You are a true inspiration. Can’t wait to tune in.
I have no doubt that there are so many fortunate children in the world who will finally have the courage to stand up and tell their story because you had the courage to tell yours.
I have a five year old daughter. I do teach her all about right touch and wrong touch. I teach her not to take candy or balloons or puppies from strangers. I give her space to tell me whatever she wants, so that she knows my door is always open to her – she is allowed to talk to me about anything.
I did not have the childhood my daughter is having. It is my hope that she will grow up in a better world.
Thank you for sharing your story! Thank you for fighting for our children’s innocence!
Erin, The passing of Erin’s Law is going to change lives for so many children and I am going to be here for you til it is accomplished. Be courageous and strong. The Lord is with you.
Erin, you are an inspiration to many. Keep the torch lit, head held high, and your faith strong. You are reaching thousands. Thank you for all you do.
Erin, I heard you speak 10/2/10 at the Take Back The Night, rally and march. Needless to say your story was both compelling and heartbreaking. I read a poem I wrote “My Little Lost Child” after you talked. I am also hoping to catch Opra tomorrow night.
The reason I am writing is I am a probation officer working with adult offenders 17 and older. I do intakes determining the risk for each offender. It has been shocking the number of young men who indicated they have been molested. Do you know of appropriate resources to work with these young men? I refer the girls to the YWCA for help, but am not sure if this would be an appropriate referral for the men. Thank you for your help and commitment to spreading your story, educating, and offering healing.
Eileen
Hi yesterday was the 12th anniversary of the day I was raped and the 4th anniversary of the man being put behind bars he was arrested for the rape of me and 3 other women. I have been thinking of a plan and away to do something even writing in to oprah a million times. I agree that it starts with teaching children at a very early age how to protect their selfs and not being ashamed to speak out about it. today as i was just laying around with oprah in the back ground I wasnt even paying attention untill I heard the after the Break and I googled your name I would really like to speak to you sometime as I would like to get involved with your cause. and share my story with you if you want to listen!! I plan on getting your books also
hi my name is Rebecka and in 1998 my home was broken in to and I was Raped it was 12 years ago yesterday today as I was waitting for the local news to come on I caught the end of oprah. 4 years ago yesterday the man that raped me was arrested for the rape of me and 3 other women. I have forgivin the man with the same grace that God has offered to me. I have spent the past 4 years wanting to start a program to help Rape victims not be scared to talk ot tell someone. The past 4 years I have also been a leader for a group of women who have been in the same place as my self. I would like to talk to you sometime I think my email is on here Im interested in helping and being apart of getting the word out I also Have emailed oprah a thousand times!!! I plan on getting your books!!
have a great day!! it starts with one!!
I glad to hear someone is out there looking out for children who are abused or teaching them the how if in a situation to seek for help.
growing up I seek for help but nobody helpedand had to take care of myself till now. As a grown up I do many times think of what what happened and why nobody willing to do anything about it.
I know it’s a taboo for the family and a shameful thing that they couldn’t understand that a family member could that. Instead they chose to be quiet and hope it’ll go away and left me alone and silence.
With no friends or family to deal with it, I just leave with my pain.
One thing I learn about it that nobody cared.
Emma.
Erin – I am a volunteer at our local Child Advocacy center as a CASA volunteer. Several years ago we used a program – “Child Assault Prevention” in our schools that dealt with three different scenarios – bullying, stranger danger & sexual assault by a known person. We role played each of these and worked on teaching the kids how to be safe, strong and free. I am so glad to see you had a law passed in your state and plans to take it nationwide. You are such an inspiration! Our children need to be protected and need to know how to protect themselves. Keep up the good work!
Hi Erin,
I am a parent of a child that was sexually assualted about a year ago. My daughter had the strenght and courage to let me know what had happen and she was taken directly to the hospital. The evidence was collected by the S.A.N.E nurse and process by the police. Her accusor was sentence 5 months after the assult. I know this is not the norm and victims can wait until years for their accusor to be brought to court.
I believe my daughter was able to do this because since she was young, we discussed about unapprioriate touching. I am a healthcare worker and in the past year I have had three victims that were sexually assaulted that were pregnate because they were afraid to tell an adult of what had taken placed. I believe like you that this needs to be taught in schools. I would like to lobby for Erin’s Law in my state of Nevada. I just need direction and guidance.
Rosemarie
Erin,
I saw you on the Oprah show today and I just want to say “Thank You” for what you are doing in helping to protect our children. I was molested by a cousin of my mothers from the time I was 5 until I was 8 years old. During the time that he was doing this to me, he continually told me that he would kill me and my family if I ever told anyone about what he was doing, therefore, I didn’t tell anyone about the abuse until I was 18 years old. At that time, my mother believed what I told her, but she adamantly asked me not to persue any criminal charges against this person for fear of what it would do to her aunt (his mother) and I think she was also concerned about what other people might think about it. Of course, being at the young age that I was, I didn’t do anything at that time. Shortly after this, I started to have nightmares and flashbacks of the abuse and began to self destruct and went out of control. I saw therapist after therapist but never completely got over what had happened to me. A few years ago, I finally found a therapist that I was able to really “get down and dirty” with as I call it, and I finally just laid all the cards out on the table. I finally realized that I was not to blame and that I had to forgive my abuser so that I could get on with my life. I did get the opportunity to confront him face to face a few years ago, and he seemed to be remorseful, but who really knows. Good news is, that I finally was able to have a normal life and can openly talk about what happened to me with other people. My mother and I still have a strained relationship because of her persuading me to not file charges against him so that he could go to prison and get the punishment he deserves. But, I have made it my goal to let others know that it’s ok to talk about it and it’s ok to tell people I am married to a wonderful man now and I have 2 children, 12 yr old boy and 10 yr old girl and I have been really honest with them about what happened to me and have been very proactive in making sure that they know what is right and wrong. Thank you for the work you are doing and I hope to see “Erins Law” go National. I would love to visit with you and help you lobby for stronger laws in OK. Thanks again! Angie
Hi Erin, I saw you on Oprah yesterday and googled Erin’s Law this morning. I too am a victim of childhood sexual abuse. I’ve written a book, yet to be published, on strategies for the journey to healing. I have also developed seminars that I hope to present to therapists, volunteers, and graduate students in the fields of counseling. I retired early from a career in teaching to pursue my mission to help end the silence and shame of sexual abuse. One of the strongest motivators is to prevent other children from enduring the devestation of abuse. My recent blog post is about just that. I hope you will read it. I am very interested in Erin’s Law and how we can get this going in other states…All states!
I am healed and whole thanks to an incredible therapist, wonderful husband and my faith. So many people ask me if I am angry with God for letting this happen to me. My answer is that my abusers did what they did of thier own free will. I survived because God held me in his hand.
Thank you for what you are doing to end the silence and help other children. I hope we can be in touch. We share a very special mission in life.
Best wishes, Roberta
Hi Erin,
You are such an inspiration! I just came across your web-site from seeing a post on FB about the show. I dvr’d the show and look forward to watching it.
I was molested by my step father for several years. I still find it hard to talk about it and still find it to have an impact on my life. I am 39 years old and still remember so many of the details like it was yesterday. I don’t hold hate in my heart for anyone but I do still hold hate for him. I remember watching Oprah a while back and she was talking to some men that were abusers and one of them said (about his victim) that he killed the person that she could have become, That statement he made has stayed with me. It is so true. It changes who you are as a person. When I hear about these stories I always tell myself that I need to start talking to someone about what happened to me but I always find a way to put it way in the back of my mind. I’ve never told anyone except for a couple of my closest friends that I confided in. I am going to continue to read your blog and get my hands on your book. Thank you for everything you have done!!! I look forward to hearing more from you!
You did a great job. I was able to tape and watch it. Great job. You looked completely at ease in front of the camera. Erin’s law is going to change the world.
Dear Erin,
I’ve been staring at this blank screen for two days wondering where to begin. I’m sure people must tell you all the time how inspiring you are to overcome such a thing as sexual abuse, and to have the courage to confront your abusers and make Erin’s law. I join those people in saying you are truly an amazing person for all of those things. But I write to you today for a different reason. You see I am the same age as you 25, and also share the same story. I was first abused when I was 8 years old by a female cousin who was 11. That abuse only happen for the length of a summer because we were staying with a an aunt we both had away from our parents. When the summer ended so did the abuse from her, and in my head at the time I thought it was something that I had to go through as a younger member of the family and it would never happened again. I was right about it not happening with her again, but when I turned 10 my other cousin who was only a year older begin to touch me as she did. This time it hit me even harder because that cousin was a boy and he made me do things I still have a hard time talking about. By the time I was 13 I emotionally disconnected with everyone in my family because of the abuse, but the funny thing is none of them would ever have guessed. I was happy, joyful, smart, good in school, had lots of friends and was always the one to make my brothers and mom and dad smile and laugh. In the inside though I was dying, sometimes I think I still am. My abused stopped when I went to high school but it stays with me still every day. When I was 2 I thought about killing myself. I knew where my dad kept his gun and everyday I’d go and look at it, just look and feel the handle. Sometimes I still feel like that, and I don’t know how to get past it. I guess I’m writing you as a peer and asking for advice and guidance. I’ve never been able to tell anyone the whole story because I feel so shameful about it. And really I don’t think anyone in my family would even believe me. I want to get past this but I don’t know how.
Thanks for all the wonderful feedback! I truly appreciate it. As many of you can imagine I am hearing from many people. Eventually I will get around to posting an update. In the meantime if my appearance on Oprah helped you find your own voice and you need someone to talk to. There is a free hotline called RAINN where you can talk to counselors that understand. 1.800.656.HOPE
There is no shame in reaching out for help! It is a sign of strength!
God Bless!
Hi Erin, I applaud you for stepping out! You spoke beautifully and filled with a tenacious resolute attitude that Erin’s Law will be passed in every state. I am with you 100%. If you do not mind….I am entering an art piece in a national exhibit and I would like to support your law by referring persons who look at my piece to support Erin’s Law. It is a necessary piece of legislature and this is a small way I can support you and your law..
To explain my art piece, it is an intimate book called the “Double Bind”. An explanation through visual tools which shares the emotions and difficulties an abused person deals with through the holidays. It is filled with correspondence, secret letters, and images. It is very subtle and yet very intense. I am an emerging artist who’s goal is to bring to society an awareness of women’s issues.
I am also a survivor of sexual abuse. I had blocked my awareness of my abuse until I was 40. Trudi’s story was the beginning of my awareness as well as the shock of 9/11. 15 years of therapy, and I am finally taking back my life and am emerging as the artist I have always been meant to be. Please check my website and let me know if you would allow me to refer persons to your legislature.
Thanks so much for all that you are doing and someday I would love to meet you and share our hopes and dreams of how as “simple women” we can change the world.
I am not a victim of sexual abuse, but I want to get Erin’s law on the books in Utah. I just don’t know where to start. Any advise? Do you have a link to progress being made outside of Illinois or how to start the process. Thank you for your inspiration.
Erin,
I saw you on Oprah Oct 6th, and went and bought your book over the weekend. I am almost done. Thank you so much for sharing your story,and for being a beacon of light and hope to so many.
I admire you for your courage to speak out and take your control back.
I was never sexually abused, but I was emotionally abused for much
of my life. I understand the feeling of blaming yourself when the perpetrator wont step up and acknowledge and apologize for the pain they have caused.
God bless you Erin,
Tracy
California
Erin,
I saw you on Oprah. Good for you girl. I was sexually abused from 5 till around 10 at the hands of my older brother. I had my childhood taken away like you did. No one helped me. I had to have surgery for a virial rupture from the abuse. Not a doctor NO one invisitgated. I was so anorexic I was told simply that I would die if I didn’t start eating. No ONE took the time to figure out what was wrong with this small, sad, 8 year old. WHY?
You are amazing for doing this. I want this law passed in Texas. I would love to make this happen. How do we get this training in the school? I now have 2 children of my own. It is my greatest fear that they will be abused. I can’t wait to read your book. I want to help you to get this law passed.
Thank You!
Amy Bottorff
Hi Erin,
How wonderful to come here and be able to read your history of writing to Oprah. You truly were amazing and I still haven’t taken it off my dvr because I just want to watch you again and again. I was so proud of and you and so proud to know who you are.
Thank you for sharing with us how special it was for you and how you touched her heart. I felt the goose bumps all over when I read that. You are truly God’s Angel Erin and I am blessed to have found you. YOU INSPIRE me to do more and Be more.
xoxo,
Vicki
If anyone would like to help in my movement of taking Erin’s law national please email me at erinmerryn@yahoo.com.
Thank you all so much for your kind words and watching me on Oprah. It was truly an amazing experience to get this message across to her and her audience.